Planning On...Planning Off...Planning On....

Argh!!! I am SO frustrated and need to vent!! Things have been going along swimmingly. During the time between getting engaged and last week, I have been getting excited about moving to San Diego, and moreso, about planning a wedding. In March, Mike asked that I hold off on wedding planning - or at least talking to him about it - for a few weeks or until he finds his next contracting gig. He wanted to "just be engaged" for a bit and not think about those plans. Hell, in my mind, that's like giving a kid (me) a big cookie (fatty engagement ring) and not letting them eat it (plan a wedding)! Frustrating, so I slowly began some silent planning (entirely legal).

One thing that is key to know about me is that I am VERY good at starting projects. I get hugely excited and energetic and will put all of my energy into a project at the start, then, as time goes on, I lose interest and leave work unfinished, loose ends dangling. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in a partially completed home or anything, and I don't leave half-built model ships laying around (I know better than to start something that requires THAT much patience!), but I am a much better "starter" than "finisher."

So last Monday, we had a change in status. YAY!!! Mike had accepted a position and said we could now talk about the wedding. I understand the catalyst to his change in attitude to be time spent with married guy friends. I can't be sure what was said over drinks, but can only assume that the guys told Mike that their fiancees acted the same way...granted, the two men he mentioned were married within 3 months of getting engaged. I guess that part just isn't my (parents') speed and would mean getting married in MN (no thanks).

Mike and I had our initial wedding talk over beers at the uber classy Joe Sensors in Eagan. It went well enough. I told him about the church (Mission basilica San Diego del alcala) and my dad's efforts to find us a priest, the possibility of two receptions - official wedding and reception in San Diego followed weeks later by a brunch/lunch in Minnesota. We talked about number of people in the wedding party, etc., etc., and again, I asked if I was okay to plan and talk about the wedding. I was given the go-ahead with the disclaimer that not every conversation turn into wedding talk.

We have since emailed about very preliminary guest lists - pretty minor - and there was some wedding talk while at Easter brunch with my parents.

Now, THIS is why I am so frustrated. I got an email today from Mike saying that he talked to some co-workers, and that San Diego airport is difficult and we should consider living in Houston or Charlotte. To me, that's nice that they have an opinion. Everyone has their specific likes and dislikes about certain areas, but Mike said it is "something to consider" with the comments that "I know you want to start booking things for the wedding, but I was hoping not to make any final decisions on where we move to before we at least go there to visit." Ugh, yes, I guess so, but I have my heart set on moving to someplace warm and sunny with ocean and palm trees and I would like to make a decision so I can build plans to move and wedding plans around it. We've both been telling people that we're moving to San Diego, and now he's hesitating based on a comment some co-worker made. To me, frustrating. I like change, but I want to start moving on SOMEthing!