Plus Three

I joined Weight Watchers a few weeks ago. I guess I feel the need to prep for that day when I start looking for a wedding dress. I've notciced a difference in the scale over the past year, with the numbers inching up, and have felt the need to get back to my starting point. Yeah, yeah. Who really cares, right? This is a standard complaint for most women at some point. I've been a member of WW for the past three weeks. The first two, I lost the standard expected numbers (~2lbs/week). How anti-climatic! I've been active my whole life, this should be quick and easy. Hell, I ate only fruits and veggies and was otherwise carb, sugar and fat free for two weeks (Yes, I know fruit has carbs, but it's allowed on this plan). But this last week has been a mess. It started Thursday when I helped prep food for Mike's party. Chocolate covered popcorn, anyone? Yum. Things went quickly down hill - for the WHOLE week - after that. Anything fried, pizza-related, or covered in chocolate that I could think of, I ate. At my weigh in yesterday, I had gained 7 pounds for the week. Weird...after having the counselor write down my new number and hand me my membership book with an "I'm sorry" look, I felt somewhat proud.

That's messed up. I realize the benefits of the "less is more" sentiment, but I find it hard to subscribe. Not only in weight, but finances as well. For example, when I log into my Citibank account, I see savings, checking, checking plus and credit card balances, with the key message showing "Amount you Owe." I'm happily making huge progress in paying accounts down, but that's the problem, I don't like to downsize. There is some weird satisfaction in seeing big numbers next to my accounts. If the message of the financial sites (when you owe money) displayed "Amount you PAID" and I could watch that number go up, increment, get bigger, I would feel amazingly fulfilled and challenged to make it bigger. (Is that intentional on the part of financial lending institutions?)

I get it - Americans (well, me and most of Texas) have been programmed to believe that having more (bigger numbers) shows accomplishment. In my two areas of concern, weight and finances, restraint and lack of acquisition shows accomplishment...I need to re-wire my thinking.